A Total Eclipse of Decency

Today was a total lunar eclipse. The night sky was clear and bright, perfect for moon-watching. I explained what the lunar eclipse was to the kids, and to her credit, Abby really seemed to get it. I even hauled out a soccer ball, a kickball, and a flashlight and, as the sun, I showed them how it worked. The kids took turns being the moon and the earth and moving the shadows around. I had no idea what a walking science experiment I could be! We even looked at diagrams on Wikipedia and pictures of other lunar eclipses across the web.

Every so often we'd break and check on the progress of the earth's shadow. The kids were so excited to see the shadow making progress, and Abby could even see the curve of the earth's shadow across the moon.

Well, unfortunately, this was all taking place way past their bedtime, so the moment the shadow fully covered the moon, the kids took note and then faded off to to sleep in our bed, where we'd been watching it through the window.

I climbed into bed myself and cuddled my darling sleeping children around me. I then proceeded to quietly turn on the TV, but then two unfortunate circumstances collided: First, earlier this morning, Brian had turned the TV up loudly so he could hear the Colbert Report from the bathroom before he went to work and didn't happen to lower the volume before he tuned it off. Normally this would not have been a problem, but; Second, Comedy Central was still the channel, and South Park happened to be on. So, the instant the sound came on, out came at top volume: "[rear end] LICKER [phallus] FACE!" (comma, yelled Cartman to somebody, as I scrambled to mute it.)

The kids sat bolt upright in bed. "'[rear end] licker [phallus] face?' What does that mean?" asked Abby, earnestly. She rubbed her tired eyes.

"Nothing," I said. "Go back to sleep. You heard nothing."

Niiiiice.

Way to ruin a wholesome family experience, mom. I think we'll forego the visual aids on any explanation of that one.